Click Clack Shoes

I remember her perfume
Mingled with make-up, hair spray
Comforting was the mingled scent

So many things to adorn herself
Leaning into the mirror
to blend her make-up

Sunday mornings all dressed up
Click Clack went her shoes

I sat on her satin slipped lap
ribbons and bows
she curled my young locks

Now I lean into the mirror
blend my make-up

I have no young curls to curl
nor ribbons to tie,
rather I have belts to tighten
and cowlicks to flatten.

And I wear the Click Clack shoes.

The sound of Sunday morning

~By Gillian Brickey, August 2011~

Chicken is Today's Manna

Tonight’s lesson at our church’s children’s program was about the complaints of the Israelites as they wandered in the desert (Exodus 16).  Hearing their hunger complaints, God provided quail and a food called “manna” for them.  It was more than sufficient for the day, so God said not to hold any over for the next day because He would provide for them again.  Some did not believe the Lord, however, so they hid an extra portion for the next day.  Overnight their leftovers rotted and became infested with worms.  Despite their complaints and lack of faith in God’s provision, God continued to provide for their needs.  He even made the manna last TWO days to accommodate the Sabbath.  The tidy little lesson for the kids: God is faithful, so we shouldn’t complain. Little did I know that God was going to use our sweet Z to drive home that point.

We loaded our family into the car after dinner at church.  As usual, we brought the twins' picnic while the rest of us ate what was served to the congregation.  As I pulled away from the curb, completely randomly, three year-old Z declared: "I'm GREAT.  'know why I great?  I great because I ate chickeeeen, and leeeeeeaves, and applesaauuuuce, and rice milk." 

Let me break this down for you.  They had broiled boneless skinless chicken breasts.  Plain romaine lettuce leaves without dressing.  Natural applesauce.  And plain rice milk (not vanilla flavored). 

Thank you, Lord, for his thankful heart.

Even as I packed their dinner tonight I had a complaining spirit.  I wondered when I would be able to give them something more exciting than this plain, bland menu.  But the truth is they eat healthier than the rest of us in our house.  They’ve never had a preservative other than salt.  They only eat foods from the produce and meat departments.  Truly their menu is the Lord’s manna – it is sufficient for them.

A woman in a Bible study I attended last spring heard some of our food allergy woes, and she said, “Is not life more than food?”  And she pointed me to the Sermon on the Mount.  I’ve read it so many times before, but never with a food allergy lens.  Matthew 6:25 ESV says:

“Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing?”    www.biblegateway.com

I posted this scripture above my kitchen sink to remind me to ditch the anxiety and trust the Lord, yet I still hit our latest snag and I fell back to my grumbling spirit.  We call it a “dark cloud” moment when we come across yet another discouraging thing in the world of food allergies.  Our latest dark cloud was discovering that Z is allergic to cinnamon, and then learning that it shares a food family with avocados, to which I already knew he was allergic.  Had I known about food families ahead of time I may have had an opportunity to spare him the cinnamon reaction, or at least have had a more informed decision about trying it.  So now I have set about familiarizing myself with food families and “common cross-reactivity” before we try anything else…grrrrrrrr.  I feel like I should have known these concepts YEARS ago, yet I have to stumble across “food families” on the internet while searching for “cinnamon allergy.”  It was just a small dark cloud compared to others in the past, but it was a dark cloud nonetheless.   

But there’s another great scripture for my dark cloud days that often pops into my mind:

Philippians 2:14-15 ESV says: Do all things without grumbling or questioning that you may be blameless and innocent, children of God without blemish in the midst of a crooked and twisted generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world holding fast to the word of life, so that in the day of Christ I may be proud that I did not run in vain or labor in vain.

Ouch.

I’ve said so many times that “I just need to vent,” and I do just that.  I vent.  But does it really help?  Often I get more stirred up, more frustrated with my helplessness and more irritated with allergists who can really only TEST and are pretty much worthless in the realm of actually living with allergies or discerning them in the real world. 

Sigh.  See?  There I go again.  It’s a loose trigger. 

But then there’s my sweet Z.  He has the most severe allergies that keep us hopping, yet he gets in my car after yet another meal of more of the same, and he’s "great."  He reminds me that for some, including my twins, tonight's dinner is a banquet. 

Z also reminded me that for today anaphylaxis was not our reality.  Tonight’s chicken was Z’s manna.  And he is thankful, as am I.

Lord,

Thank you that Z was so delighted with his meal that he inspired me to think of you and all that you have done for our family.  Most of all, thank you for today’s manna.  It is sufficient.  Lord, you are sufficient.

Love,

G

Life Hinged On a Book and a Prayer

Yes, it's another post about reading to our kids.  I have to keep learning the lesson that reading to them at bedtime is truly a treasure.  Even when I try to skip it, the kids bring us back to it, and it's so worth it. 

Yesterday was a long day in Mommyland. As everyone came home from work and school I found myself tired and a bit shaken. It was a day of experiences that challenged what I thought I knew from food allergies to grammar, to cooking garlic bread, and it all seemed to crumble (literally for the garlic bread, whoops!).  We worked to get the kids in bed on time, but their hilarious-when-not-at-bedtime antics slowed the process.  I just wanted the day to end and for peace and quiet to fill the house.  I was going to just skip the books and turn off the light so I could rush into the end of my night, but then our second son asked, "Mommy, are you going to read Fox in Socks to Z and S tonight?"

"Maybe, why?"

"I was wondering if you could read it really loud so I can hear it from my room."  

My heart melted.  I know it's not about the book.  "N, why don't you guys just come into Z and S's room and we'll read it together." 

So we read Fox in Socks together.  And then Brown Bear, Brown Bear.  I turned the pages, N read the words, Z and S dangled off their beds to see the pictures, A listened nearby with Legos, and The Hubs lingered in the doorway.  After the books we prayed with our boys.  The Holy Spirit nestled among us as we prayed together for our day, for friends whom God has healed, for healing from allergies, and for each other.

It's amazing what taking an extra few minutes with a book and a prayer can do to wind down a house of busy boys!  Sweet relief came to my weary and anxious spirit.  We finally tucked everyone into bed and turned out the lights.  Conversations between the two rooms continued for a few more minutes, but for the most part the house was quiet.  The Hubs and I finished buttoning up the house together, talking about our day and strategizing the days to come, and then we went our separate ways.  I sat down to study grammar for home school in the den (and you can tell by my posts that I have a LOT of studying to do!), and he went to the other end of the house to study for seminary.

Friends: My day was messy. My house was messy.  I was messy. (I even donned the faded Mickey Mouse t-shirt and flannel plaid pj bottoms BEFORE dinner!...yeah...it was THAT kind of day). 

But as I counted my blessings after my long day, taking a step back to look at the Big Picture, I realized yet again: God is so good in His simple love and care for us.

I distractedly studied for a couple of hours and then closed the books. Walking to bed I passed the twins' room and saw through the shadows a sweet little leg dangling out of S's bed. I went in and smothered his sweet little face with kisses, he moaned, rolled over, and tucked his leg safely back into his covers. I checked on all of my boys and then headed to bed.  Even in his sleepiness The Hubs still put his hand on mine.   Be Still My Heart! 

During this "I think I can," season of my life, when I feel like the Little Engine That Could with huge tasks set before me, I am thankful for oasis moments like last night when the world seems to stop for a moment.  Things get WILD around here, but for just a moment it was still.  And now I'm off to start another day feeling renewed thanks to a book and a prayer. 

Food Allergies: About Our Journey

Eggs, Milk, Peanuts, and Dogs are on the list of things that could possibly go very wrong for our twin boys.  Wheat, oats, and flax also cause problems for one of them.  In April of 2010 we had just left church on a Wednesday night.  Our little guy, Z, started a funny cough as we left, and by the time I drove the two blocks to our home he was struggling to breathe.  He made a hard long grunt to push through an exhale, and his chest caved in as he slowly and desperately pulled through an inhale.  Thinking it was asthma, I started a nebulizer, alerted my husband, and called 911.  I held my 18 month old baby as I watched consciousness slowly slipping away from him.  My husband remembered the epinephrine we had recently been prescribed at the pediatrician’s office.  He jabbed it into our tiny boy’s thigh.  He should have been able to scream or kick, but instead he lay limp in my arms.  Because of the blessing of my husband’s fast thinking and the epinephrine, Z quickly began to breathe better.  Then the hives had enough oxygen to come.  And they did.  That's when we knew for sure that it was an allergic reaction.  In the ambulance a blanket of hives covered his body.  His face swelled and he itched all over.  At the hospital his 18 month old body, barely 20 pounds, received an adult dose of Benadryl, epinephrine, and steroids.   He spent the night in the pediatric ICU as much to monitor the effects of drugs as the persistent reaction that wanted to keep coming.  Thankfully, the next day he came home happy and healthy again.  It was surreal to realize we almost lost him the night before.

Z and S January 2010. Two months before the big scary reaction we tried eggs and they both developed hives.  Z, above, developed a certain kind of hives that look like a sunburn. S, below, had standard bumpy hives and his right eye swelled shut.  These were taken at the beginning of the reaction, so it's not at it's full height yet.  We were off to the pediatrician pretty quickly. 

We have some theories but will never know for sure what Z ate that night at church. We do know what set the stage for it, though.  We were still very new at the whole food allergy journey. I was ignorant about how many prepared foods have hidden and unimaginable ingredients. More than five hours before church that night I gave Z and S a taste of fast food fries. I did not even consider the idea that there could be milk and wheat in fries. The doctors said that he must have eaten something at church for such a sudden and severe reaction, but that the fries probably helped get the ball rolling for the reaction to come.   Oh. The. Guilt.

Our church family was awesome, loving, and quick to respond. They held a meeting where they asked me to come and describe the warning signs of a reaction and demonstrate how to administer epinephrine.  I called it the“How Not to Kill Z and S Meeting."  We never blamed the church for what happened, especially after my own monumental mistake earlier that day.  They knew not to feed the twins, but none of us knew how many pitfalls there were in caring for toddlers with unknown allergies.  He could have grabbed another child's cup or bottle, or even found a stray crumb on the floor without anyone seeing him.  Who knows.  

I blame Allergies for what happens to my boys.
After the big church reaction I sat in an allergist’s office as he said, “They should outgrow most of these allergies by age 5,” and I replied jokingly, but with a lump in my throat:

“How do I keep them alive until then?” 

His sobering answer: “Work with a dietitian to make sure you have all of the major food groups covered as well as possible.  If you know of enough safe foods to keep them healthy, don’t introduce any new foods until we see you again next year.”  It was a punch to the gut.  We had fewer than 20 foods to work with, and just a few seasonings.  Thankfully, though, every food group was represented. 
 

S in 2010.  Mystery reaction.  This is after Benadryl, so his eyes were open again and looking better.

We have come a long way since then, and their fourth birthday is just a month away!  I’ve learned to cook their limited food list in a small variety of ways.  Homemade chicken stock, Rice Chex chicken nuggets, and my grandma’s pot roast are among some of our favorite recipes.  And they can enjoy several fruits and vegetables.  Rice and potatoes are our main and constant carbohydrates (no wheat or oats).  AND we’ve been able to try some new foods and expand their menu a little at a time. 

Once food was resolved, the social life needed addressing.  For a long time after that big reaction, I became a hermit with our guys.  Fighting an unseen enemy, we are no longer as free as we used to be.  Thankfully the Lord has blessed us with many wonderful people with problem-solving hearts. Because of them we have been able to find many safe environments for our guys. THANK YOU to all of our friends and family who take this seriously, watch and educate your own children, help me watch ours, and make crazy accommodations all so Z and S can live as normally as possible. YOU ARE AMAZING!  

(Our journey is not over.  This is Z Christmas 2011. We left gift opening early when he and S started to react to something. Thankfully this reaction and other recent reactions have all been mild and resolved with just Benadryl. That's a big sign to us that their allergies are lessening. Theories for this one: dog or peanuts.)

 In truth, though, not everyone wants to make accommodations for us.  One person told me that PB was so important in their children's lives that they would be seriously upset if their school banned it.  I graciously changed the subject before my emotions got the best of me.  When my poor unsuspecting husband came home from work he became my sounding board for my pent-up snarky attitude,  “All right, then!  Because there are people like THAT out there, we will home school our boys.  It’s financially next to impossible, and I looked forward to working one day.  But, SURE, I will teach EVERY subject to just my OWN children in my DINING ROOM.  I will do that.  So THEIR kids can eat peanut butter at school.”  And I cried.  Hard.   

 I’m not proud of my attitude, and the Lord definitely dealt with me over it.  The lesson learned was that: 1. Not everyone will want to help us accommodate our children.  It's a painful truth, but there you go.  And 2.  If the Lord doesn’t heal them, homeschooling would indeed be the very best way to safely educate our little men.  Not everyone can home school, so I still think schools and parents need to make accommodations.  For us, though, with sacrifices, we CAN do it.  When it became clear last spring that one of our older boys also would benefit from coming home, my heart was already primed and ready for the task.   

 I’m thankful that the Lord continues to work with us as we figure out how to balance it all.  We still live with this reality every day, but God gives us daily peace that we're doing the best we can.  One day I hope I can write a post with the title: Z and S are HEALED!!!  For today, though, I'm thankful for the journey. 

Right now our guys are happy and healthy little men!

As I wrote this Z and S were under my elbows, talking to me about their day, and laughing as they played together.  What a gift!  (and a hindrance, so forgive my grammar and other issues, ha!)  I am so thankful for the miracle of all four of our children and for a kind and loving God who carries us through every step of this journey!  

Today's post was inspired by the following link to another mom's story of her scary day that began so simply:

http://www.allergymoms.com/classroom.pdf 

Love,

G

For the Love of the Lord and Reading

If asked to pinpoint one thing we thought we were doing well in parenting, ignoring our many shortcomings of course, bedtime routines of reading and praying together would have to be a star on our chart.  There is something special about everyone coming around a story together and then praying to top it off.  The whole house seems happier when we’re spending this time together.  Lots of parents share this routine, so this is nothing new, but the fact that we still read to our big boys was something that took intentionality for us.  I admit, there are some nights when "getting to it" requires a personal pep talk and second wind of energy, but there is not one time that I ever read to my kids that returned void of warm fuzzies and thankfulness for the time well-spent.

 Our joy of reading together actually started before children arrived.  Thanks to the 20 hour drive between our home in South Carolina to my side of the family in Minnesota, and the 6 hours to My Husband’s family in West Virginia, we have always had long stretches of time to kill.  On such trips, the Hubs and I have shared together such titles as Tuesdays with Morrie and Angela’s Ashes.  Before there was www.audible.com there were books on tape or CD, but when we didn’t have a recorded book, we would read to each other.  Wild concept, I know – actually reading to each other.  I admit we would pause while passing through the mountains of Ashville, NC, or Elkhorn Mountain of West Virginia.  The switchbacks, narrow passes, and 18-wheelers make a prime recipe for motion sickness.  But aside from those mountainous passes, our journeys are mostly straight open road and easy reading. 

Reading to the Belly.  Pregnant with our first guy.  I know, it's such a flattering shot, ha ha.

When children came, reading together went from being a road trip activity to a regular routine.  We read to our first son, A, while he was still being knit together in my womb.  We enjoyed the rhythmic poetry of Shel Silverstein’s Where the Sidewalk Ends and A Light in the Attic.  Once A was in the world, we eventually got into a routine of reading a book before naptime and bedtime.  When N came along, we began reading for two in our arms.  Thanks, Dad, for that extra-wide chair you gave us for the nursery!  We would read a book for A and a book for N, plus any “one more!” books they happened to request.  Now that we’re all too big to share the chair, we sit together on the bottom bunk, or I sit in a chair while our now FOUR guys lie together on the floor of the living room for their weekend ritual of indoor camping.

The Hubs reading with the Big Boys, N and A while wearing his "Peter Jackson Glasses," February 2004

Admission of guilt: we strayed from reading to the big boys for a little while.  As they grew and learned how to read for themselves, we unintentionally phased out their story time.  The twins were babies and couldn’t read for themselves, so of course we began the routine for them.  But bedtime rituals were getting long among four children, and we were exhausted.  It seemed like the big boys’ story time was a natural thing to let fall to the wayside.  Over time, though, as the younger twins started to get beyond just board books and into actual stories, like If You Give a Pig a Pancake or a personal favorite, The Monster At the End of This Book (it hypes up the kids, but it’s soooo funny), I’d often see A and N float toward their door, toothbrushes in hand, to listen as I read to their brothers.  Every once in a while, as a special treat, I’d finish up with the twins and read the big boys a short book from their past. 

The Twins, S and Z, and Me.

It wasn’t until last summer, however, when A and I were both reading the Narnia series (me for the third time, and him for the first) that we started reading chapter books together and the routine was given new life.  A was reading slowly, and I needed his book.  (“Needed” is the proper word because when I’m reading a series I get so hooked that I practically go into withdrawal if I can’t keep my fix).  So we decided to read it together.  We were initially taking turns reading the pages, and he’s an excellent reader, but he kept asking me to keep reading to him.  And N kept joining us and asking for more.  It became clear that my boys still needed their story time.  

Still reading with the Big Boys, A and N with the Hubs.

I felt like we had a connection back that I didn’t know we’d lost.  It now spurns conversations about the books as well as subjects beyond the pages.  We laugh with the characters in the books, like when the very valiant Reepicheep takes on Eustace in The Voyage of the Dawn Treader, or we talk about why a particular storyline is so very sad, like in Number the Stars dealing with World War II and the Holocaust.  And we teach about being generous and helpful like the rats in Mrs. Frisby and the Rats of Nimh, or about being brave like Mrs. Frisby herself. 

The bonus to the end of our chapter for the evening is the prayer time we share.  Our nightly prayers began as little prayers for our sweet babies.  We’d recite “Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep,” and then we would ask the Lord to bless their rest through the night.  Over the years, though, as the big boys have grown, and the twins have faced life-threatening food allergies, they have become very real conversations with God.  They often include a quick review of things from the day that were special, and sometimes they include things that didn’t go so well.  If we’ve made a parenting mistake, like accusing the wrong son of leaving his clothes on the floor, or because we were extra irritable at dinner (you know, therapist couch material, ha!), this is usually the time when we fess up, explain ourselves, and, when necessary, apologize.  The boys include requests for people we love, and we give thanks to God for healings and blessings he’s given us.  But for me, my prayer still ends with asking the Lord to bless my guys’ rest, and to draw them close to himself…with the added request that the Father would heal our sons’ allergies.

Bedtime is not the only time we read and pray, but bed time and meal times are when it’s routine.  Because of this routine for both reading and praying, it makes the impromptu times in between become more natural.  They don’t think it’s weird to grab a book and curl up with it or to stop for a second and pray for the ambulance that just passed.  But I think the best thing about this whole reading and praying thing is that we’re doing it together.  Everyone is gathered around the same thing at the same time.  After a day of constant movement, errands, conversations, chores, events, and more, for just a handful of minutes per night we slowdown and connect.  We shut out the world, transporting ourselves somewhere else, and then we return to reality to pray to the Father who makes it all possible.  It is indeed worth it to carve out the time to read and pray with our guys.

**Links to some articles I’ve read recently that reinforce the idea that READING IS WONDERFUL!**
"Raise a Lifelong Reader"

http://www.pbs.org/parents/experts/archive/2012/05/raise-a-lifelong-reader-by-rea.html?utm_source=Facebook&utm_medium=fanpage&utm_campaign=pbs

(The title of the following article has little to do with the content.  It's more about examining why boys don't get into reading as much as girls, and some ideas about how to get that to change.)

"How to Talk to a Little Boy"

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/mobileweb/lisa-bloom/how-to-talk-to-little-boy_b_1473167.html  

 I looked for some articles on praying with children, but didn’t find what I was looking for.  One suggested putting a cloth on the floor and opening a Bible in the middle.  If this floats your boat, go for it.  To me, however, that sounds more complicated than it needs to be.  We just talk to God about our kids.  And, honestly, they love to hear us talk about them.  They love hearing their mom and dad asking God to help with the bully on the playground or their grades in school.  They love hearing their request that they just mentioned leave our lips because we feel it is important enough to ask the Father about it.  And we encourage them to petition the Father to help them with the test at school or the brother that gets on their nerves.  I would just be sure they still hear their parents pray for them.  It models how to pray, and it shows them that we love them enough to pray for them. 

In the end, I did find this one article that I thought was pretty helpful

“Praying with Children”

http://www.ministrymatters.com/all/article/entry/1623/praying-with-children

Rice Chex Chicken Nuggets

RICE CHEX CHICKEN NUGGETS:

(Note: I used to make these with commercial "Rice Bread Crumbs" that I found at our local health food store, but they turned out soggy and tasted weird. So we tried RICE CHEX INSTEAD!)

 I had Z and S (age 3) bash baggies of Rice Chex cereal into crumbs (about 5 cups). 

Then I mixed about 1/2 tsp oregano, 1tsp garlic powder, 1/2 tsp onion powder, 1 tsp salt, and 1/4 tsp pepper together and A and N (ages 8 and 9) combined the seasonings with the Rice Chex crumbs. 

I cut a pound of chx breasts into 1.5 inch pieces. A and N formed an assembly line coating them in extra light tasting olive oil (with salt and garlic powder sprinkled in it), then in Rice Chex mixture, then onto the cookie sheet.  (NOTE: You have to really push the crumbs into the chicken.)

Baked for 20 mins at 400 degrees, then turned on the broiler for 3 mins to crisp the tops.  THEY WERE AWESOME!!  Even I, the chicken nugget hater, LOVED these!  ENJOY!

(Update: After eating these for lunch and dinner 3 days in a row (by request), we've determined that the twins are sensitive to oregano.  Boo.  THANKFULLY these still taste AMAZING without it!)

Allergy Friendly Valentine's Day Lollipops

Friends!  Here's an update on the lollipops.  They turned out so CUTE! The recipe for making them is HERE-Corn-free Lollipops .  This time I tried 100% frozen grape juice concentrate for flavoring.  I used about 1.5 Tblsps of thawed concentrate and it wasn't enough.  They still tasted good, but not like grapes.  So I will try 3Tbsps next time.   

I am sooooo excited that I found HEART SHAPED MEASURING SPOONS to use as molds.  I found them in the Target dollar spot, so if you head out there now, you might just find some.  I also have a mini-muffin pan with hearts in case this hadn't worked.  The muffin pan is not ideal because you can't control the distance between each mold, but I think it might have worked as an alternative.

I ran out of lollipop sticks, so I used the smaller measuring spoon to make small hard candies instead of lollipops. 

Note: be sure to be patient and wait for the lollipops to really reach hard candy temps.  I didn't let mine go long enough so they still made good lollipops, but they became floppy and sticky as we ate them.

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!

Pinterest Barbie

Updated.
This morning I LOVED waking up to find "Pin This" as my friend's latest "Share" on Facebook.  FINALLY a REAL mom! :

 Pin This is a blog entry. 

It's a real mom's compare/contrast with Pinterest to her reality.  I've never seen her blog before, so I have no idea what the rest of the site features, but the above entry is pure gold.

In light of several conversations with friends lately, I recently posted this:

"Of my 246 pins on Pinterest I have now done 12. Honestly, that's 12 more than I thought I would do when I started pinning. Happy Pinning, Everyone!"

My girlfriend and I JUST talked about how Pinterest has produced a new version of the Barbie Doll Effect.

 PINTEREST BARBIE!!: She not only has the perfect curves, but she dons a perfectly astonishing hair style complete with embellished bobby pins and homemade hairspray.  Her apron is handcrafted, no sew from a Target tablecloth, and in her hand is a tray of homemade cupcakes with hand sculpted sugar doilies.  Accessories include: two children in hand sewn outfits playing at a table made from crates and baskets, spray painted, labeled and organized.  Also available: ingredients for children's homemade play dough and homemade colored rice.  PRICE: Utter Exhaustion.

Now we're not only to have the perfect body and curves, we are now to have the picture-perfect home, stimulating crafts for our children, and dinner should belong in those glass displays meant to entice diners at restaurants. 

Girls, just like with Barbie Dolls, we need to realize the truth: just as Barbie's curves are impossibly unhealthy so too is the standard we set for ourselves when we envy others lives through the lens of social media. 

Can you imagine how much Barbie's SHOES cost - custom jobs required.  Or her chiropractor, for that matter.  With feet permanently molded for 6" heels, she's bound to have problems, not to mention her other, uh, notable features that HAVE to cause back and neck pain. 

It's just not healthy to be that perfectly molded.  With this added layer of crafty perfection, she's not only perfectly molded, but she's EXHAUSTED and BROKE.

As little girls we used Barbie as our measuring stick for beauty, and now we seem to use social media in much the same way.  We need to keep in mind that there is a reality beyond the screen.  Many of the pictures on Pinterest are probably snapped in the two minutes before the kids wake up from nap or come home from school. Or the photographer zeros in on the beautifully shaped cupcakes, cropping out the Disaster Area that was once the kitchen. 

But let's not be too quick to judge.  We're probably all at least a bit guilty of polishing our lives for the snapshots we offer the world.  When we know someone is coming to see us, we put out our best stuff. 

We run around and pick up the dirty socks, put the toys away, and take out the trash. We dust off the smiling family pictures on our mantle, and perhaps we throw together some freshly baked cookies or a meal for our guests. 

And we will PRAY no one opens the closet, medicine cabinet, or goes into THE MASTER BATHROOM!!!!  (though Pinterest probably has an idea for how we can take care of those trouble spots, wink wink).

Facebook is another way we let people look into a window of our lives, and we know they're dropping by, so we dressed it up a bit. 

On Facebook Moms often have posts about their parenting adventures.  My post might say something like:

"My boys are all playing quietly in their fort together! OH brotherly love. Bliss!" 

But, just as there is a moment when our guests leave and life gets back to normal, there is always a status beyond the status, and a scene beyond the social media. 

For example: my four boys played beautifully together for about 20 minutes the other morning.  They pulled every single cushion, blanket, sheet, pillow, and stuffed animal into the den.  They set up the card table over it and dubbed it their "Fort."  YES I love their creativity and willingness to work together.  But it was followed by two hours of frustrated effort to get it all cleaned up again.  No perfection here!!

My simple status following that episode may have simply been, "I love chocolate."

Getting back to Pinterest,  we need to remember that the pictures on Pinterest are not even from our own homes or real life, but rather they form a WISH list!

 I take comfort in the fact that the pictures on Pinterest and the social media statuses of perfect parenting aren't all from ONE WOMAN or ALL IN ONE DAY.  They are highlights from several women, showing that no one woman possesses utter perfection all at one time. 

I remember the day I was introduced to a spiritual version of "Pinterest Pressure" in the Bible: Proverbs 31:10-31 - WOW. Talk about intimidation!  It's overflowing with qualities a "wife of noble character" might possess. 

It could be an overwhelmingly high bar for a girl, but a wise and wonderful friend (and mother of 6 children), told me, "First of all, this is an EXAMPLE of a woman.  Secondly, she isn't all of those things all in one day. She possesses a collection of those qualities over a lifetime."

Proverbs 31 doesn't mention the flaws that she undoubtedly has.  Instead it's a list of her positive features, her highlights over time.  It's a polished snapshot of an ideal woman.  Whew! THAT'S a relief!  With that lens I can see a more realistic ideal woman.

 Pintest Pressure and social media statuses of perfect parenting beg the reminder that no two women are exactly alike, and we are who we ARE, and not what we DO.

"Psalm 139:14 I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well."

So, Pinterest Barbie, with your handcrafted apron, perfectly styled hair, and hostess tray filled with homemade delights, you go ahead and be yourself.  I might make an apron, and I might even use your recipe for sugar doilies.  Some day.  But not today.  And probably not all at the same time.  And maybe not at all.  And I'm okay with that.

Corn-Free Allergen-Friendly Lollipops

As a mother, I never imagined myself saying this: I want my kids to have candy. 

The twins' birthday is THE a candy-loving holiday- Halloween!  For their first two years, their birthday party has been a fun allergen-free family celebration with goodie bags full of inedible Halloween favors, but I have always wanted my boys to have candy.  I searched and searched the Internet for a recipe that was safe for my guys.  I initially thought about doing rock candy - you know, the science experiment in growing sugar crystals.  But to do enough for a party would require a table full of mason jars for days while growing crystals with uncertain results.  Ugh.

So I looked for other hard candies, but I kept finding recipes with corn starch, and my guys are allergic to corn (among a million other things).  Whether the recipe called for cornstarch itself or powdered sugar, which contains cornstarch, every recipe had SOMEthing my guys couldn't have. UNTIL I saw a recipe for making your own powdered sugar using a coffee grinder and potato starch!  I suddenly had renewed hope!

Powdered Sugar with Potato Starch (Note: this link also has other GREAT tips about corn-free cooking!)  In case the link doesn't work, here's the recipe:

1 Tbsp Potato Starch (I don't know if tapioca starch would work, but would be worth an experiment if someone has a potato allergy)
1 cup Sugar
Grind in coffee grinder until no longer grainy.  So easy!

WHERE TO BUY THIS STUFF:  I buy my rice flours, potato starch, and tapioca starch at local health food stores, but I just discovered the very same brands for half the price on Amazon! Gotta' love that site. Some have had luck on Ebay, but I'm just not into it, espeicially with food products).

So now to make some lollipops.  

After A YEAR of searching for a good recipe, I finally found this one:

 Easy Homemade Lollipop Recipe:

     2 cups sugar

     2/3 cup water

      1/8 teaspoon Cream of Tartar

      Any desired flavoring (I used organic orange and lemon extracts, but I've since learned (with dark clouds gathering in my head) that many extracts often use alcohol derived from corn, which is why they can claim to be "gluten free."  UGH! This may explain some eczema flares. But THANKFULLY! "The Chew" on ABC showed a lollipop recipe using a spoonful of frozen 100% juice concentrate (thawed) for flavoring.  I've been to a couple of stores looking for a truly 100% juice that doesn't say "Natural Flavors" in the ingredient list, and they DO exist. I finally found a grape juice and a lemonade that we can use. I have not tried them yet, but will update when I have)

     Appropriate vegetable coloring (I didn't use any coloring, and the juice idea has natural color with the juice)

 INSTRUCTIONS:

Combine sugar and Cream of Tartar with the 2/3 cup water.

 Stir until sugar is dissolved.

Boil until a temp of 290 F. is reached or until a drop of mixture will become hard when dropped into cold water. Remove from heat.

Add flavoring and coloring. Pour into greased pans or molds.

When partly cooled insert wooden sticks. (be sure to spin the sticks once they're in place to thoroughly surround them with lollipop syrup and secure them in the lollipop!) Chill in the fridge until they are completely cooled and hard.  Store in an airtight container.

PROBLEM: I didn't own any molds, a candy thermometer, or sticks. 
SOLUTION: I posted my dilemma on Facebook and my friends came through!

STICKS: A friend suggested I buy my lollipop sticks and thermometer at Michaels, similar to these Lollipop Sticks , Candy Thermometer. 

MOLDS: My friends had three ideas for molds:

1. BUY A MOLD:  Our Michaels didn't have molds for HARD candy (READ LABELS!  They had LOTS for soft candy that were quite deceptive.  This is how I found out the hard way that not all lollipop molds are created equal.  Hard candy lollipop molds are a hard white plastic and will say they are meant for hard candy.  I did a search for "hard candy molds" and bought mine from a small site I'd never heard of.  Thankfully it worked out GREAT!  And I have cute dinosaur molds.
RESULTS: I love our dinosaur molds, but the lollipops turned out VERY BIG and thick that the kids can't finish all at once!  So my recommendation would be to find smaller molds for kiddos.

2.  NO MOLD: to make wonky lollipops: Spray a cookie sheet with cooking spray and carefully spoon the hot lollipop syrup onto the sticks  ( (I also sprinkled powdered sugar, but it clumped up on the oil, so ignore it in the picture below.  Also, for oil cooking spray, I've found an olive oil cooking spray that has a hint of soy that works for us, but if you have a soy allergy, Pampered Chef at one time sold a pump spray bottle that lets you put your own oil inside, pump in air pressure, and spray.  Awesome!). 
RESULTS: When I did it this way, they turned out so thin that the lolli would fall off the pop almost as soon as the child took one lick.  These are great with adults, but a bit awkward with kids.

 3.  MAKE A MOLD: Use a cookie sheet with sides (jelly roll pan), fill it with powdered sugar, use something to press shapes firmly into the sugar (I used a cap from a juice bottle, washed, of course), align your sticks into the shapes, and pour in the lollipop syrup. 




RESULTS: I have to say, in the end, this was my favorite method.  Kind of messy, but in the end there was NO oil, and the added layer of powdered sugar added an element of froofroo to the pops.  YUM!




Enjoy!

Paula Deen's House Seasoning, Basic BBQ, and Sweet Potato Fries

Years ago, before our very allergic twins were born,we had the "Food Network" for just a wonderful few weeks and I saw Ms. Paula Deen.  A dazzling classic Southern lady who knew how to throw anything and everything into a pot and have it come out crowd-pleasingly wonderful.  Pot-scraped-clean-every-time good.  

 But even with Ms. Paula's classic, easy-to-do recipes, I'd flop.  So I abandoned my hopes of being the next Paula Deen.  This mutt of a Minnesota girl turned South Carolina Gamecock just couldn't cook.

One take-away I have from my early experiments with Paula Deen, however, is her House Seasoning.  It's so basic: salt, pepper, and garlic powder.  I've had the recipe for years and years, but it wasn't until the twins were born with so many food allergies that I learned how multi-purpose this wonderful seasoning combination could be. 

Here it is, Folks:

http://www.food.com/recipe/Paula-Deens-House-Seasoning-Mix-57340

• 1 cup kosher salt
• 1/4 cup fresh ground black pepper
• 1/4 cup garlic powder

Directions:

Mix ingredients together and store in an airtight container for up to 6 months.

That's it!  So basic.  I actually don't really mix it up and store it anymore.  I just sprinkle salt, pepper, and garlic powder on whatever meat I'm cooking, but the concept is still fully alive and well.  I AM SO THANKFUL THE TWINS AREN'T ALLERGIC TO GARLIC!  I have a friend who said her little men are allergic to garlic.  This might be true for others as well, and, always keeping in mind that my guys could develop a sensitivity to it, I've branched out to try other seasonings.  It turns out that celery powder and onion powder are also delicious!  And rosemary tastes wonderful on poultry, though I think it gives my guys runny noses (dark cloud). 

Why did I feel inspired today to write about Mrs. Paula's lovely House Seasoning?  Today I'm making BBQ.  I have no idea how other households do it, but around here we have some guys who like the sauces, some who don't, and some who are allergic to them, so I don't use any sauces in my BBQ.  This is NOT a heart-healthy meat.  At All.  But after a weekend of chicken tenders and squash soup, we're ready for some Southern food.

This recipe I can say I came up with on my own.  And it's so so easy:

BASIC BBQ:

Big ole Boston Pork Butt (yes, I typed "Butt" and it's actually used on the package label)
and Paula Deen's House Seasoning

Put Butt in slow cooker.  Sprinkle liberally with house seasoning.  Cook on low for about 6-8 hours until it falls apart with a fork. 

Don't be tempted to pull it out before it falls apart easily.  Once done, put just the meat into a large dish, leaving behind loose fat and bone (I use my large roasting dish with a lid so the meat is easily stored in the fridge).  Use paper towels to soak up extra fat from the meat.  It will be dripping with it.  Use a couple of forks to shred it.  I taste it at this point and sometimes add some more House Seasoning.  Serve over rice with a side of steamed vegetables, or plain with a side of roasted potatoes.  My husband adds mustard-based BBQ sauce to his, another child adds soy sauce, and the rest of us eat it plain.  Whatever works!

*My secret to rice: My guys don't like plain brown rice, so I mix white and brown rice together and store it in a container! No minute rice for us. I use a rice cooker and cook fully loaded whole grain rice. No rinsing so it retains nutrients.

Thank you, Ms. Paula Deen!



Bonus Recipe:
SWEET POTATO FRIES:

 Scrub 2-3 sweet potatoes, cut diagonally into coins, then slice each coin into strips like french fries. (UPDATE: per my friend's suggestion I now cut my fries in half again.  The bite-sized pieces cook more evenly!)  Line a cookie sheet with parchment paper.  Place fries on the sheet in a single layer and sprinkle liberally with salt. Bake at 400 for about 20 mins, or until fork tender and slightly browning on the bottom.  Might want to turn them over halfway through.  Alternative seasonings: cinnamon, or sprinkle with brown sugar at the end.  I used to baste the fries with olive oil first, but I've since discovered that we like them better without any oil. 

I always pile too many on the pan (pictured left) because my family eats them ALL.  :)  Soon I'll need to add a second tray!

Love,
G

Homemade Butternut Squash Soup with Homemade Chx Stock!!

Let me preface this post by saying that I don't like squash.  At all.  Here's my story of how I came to love this butternut squash soup recipe:

It was late at night.  My husband was finishing a sermon for the next morning when I quietly approached him with a steaming teacup.  I'd brought him soup.  I'd stayed up to make this experimental soup because if it was a failure, I was going to have to find a plan 'B' for after church the next day.  My husband (a guy who, if ever won the lottery, would simply grin with triangulated eyebrows and say, "Wow.") took one bite of my latest experiment and said, "Wow, this is awesome.  I mean this is REALLY good.  Can the twins have this?"  I nodded.  "Wow.  Can I have some more?"  *tear*  After he tried it, I decided to brave a taste myself.  I'd only had a small sip to taste for saltiness.  I was SHOCKED.  Even I, the squash-hater, loved it!  SUCCESS!!!  The next morning I discovered he had posted THIS on Facebook:

Gillian just brought me the best soup I have ever had. She made a butternut squash soup absolutely from scratch - from the chicken stock to roasted squash. INCREDIBLE!!!

He made my heart soar.  I love that man. 

In an earlier post I mentioned that I hate cookbooks, but I LOVE the Internet!  Especially www.allrecipes.com .  You can enter ingredients you want AND ingredients that you DON'T want.  And it's HUGE.  You can find pretty much anything.  That's where found THIS squash soup recipe:

http://allrecipes.com/recipe/butternut-squash-soup-ii/detail.aspx

I also LOVE Facebook, or, more specifically, I love my friends and the extra connection FB gives us.  My friends have been vital in this journey of cooking.  This recipe calls for chicken stock, and not long ago chx stock was a "dark cloud" food.  I'd checked many grocery store shelves and found NONE that I trusted for my guys.  Through Facebook, I stumbled across a conversation with a friend who shared with me how to make chicken stock!  I think she saw one of my posts about how I save the drippings from chx in ice cube trays and use them to flavor vegetables instead of butter?  I don't know.  But the end result of our connection through Facebook is that she told me how to make and store chicken stock! 

CHX STOCK: after you've cooked a whole chicken or a lot of chicken pieces, strip off the meat, then throw the skin and bones into the slow cooker with 6-8 cups of water.  Throw in a few carrots, a stock or two of celery, and an onion (just rough-cut the veggies since they're just for flavor and not for eating), season with salt, pepper, and garlic powder (just sprinkle an even layer of each on top) and cook on low overnight.  Next morning, strain the stock into a bowl, throw out the veggies (so sad!) and let the stock cool in the fridge.  Once cool, skim off the now-waxy layer of fat, then put in freezer containers!  So easy. 

The original soup recipe calls for dicing a raw butternut squash.  If you've ever worked with butternut squash, you know what a pain in the rear it is to try cut when it's raw.  So I read the comments under the soup and someone recommended roasting it first.  When I was making baby food for the twins, one friend directed me to this site: http://wholesomebabyfood.momtastic.com/ .   It has AWESOME instructions for basic peparation for a variety of foods - including butternut squash!  Just look under "Vegetables."

However, just like with cookbooks, every recipe I find needs doctoring.  Here is the orginal recipe with my alternatives in caps.  ALL CREDIT GOES TO THE ORIGINAL SOURCE!!  I just doctored it for our family:

Ingredients

• 2 tablespoons butter (OLIVE OIL)
• 1 small onion, chopped
• 1 stalk celery, chopped
• 1 medium carrot, chopped
• 2 medium potatoes, cubed
• 1 medium butternut squash - peeled, seeded, and cubed
• 1 (32 fluid ounce) container chicken stock (I USED A 3 CUP CONTAINER OF HOMEMADE STOCK FROM MY FREEZER)
• salt and freshly ground black pepper to taste

Directions

     FIRST START ROASTING THE BUTTERNUT SQUASH.  CUT IT IN HALF LENGTH-WISE, THEN PUT IT FACE DOWN IN A BAKING PAN.  ADD 1/2"-1" WATER TO THE PAN, AND ROAST OPEN-SIDE-DOWN IN THE PAN AT 400 FOR 40 MINS.  THE SKIN WILL BE BUBBLED AND FORK-TENDER WHEN IT'S DONE.  TO CUT OUT THE SQUASH, I MAKE A GRID OF SQUARES CUTTING TO JUST SHY OF THE SKIN, THEN SCOOP IT OUT.  THE CHUNKS ARE ALREADY MADE!  WHILE THE SQUASH ROASTS, PREPARE THE SOUP PER ALLRECIPE'S INSTRUCTIONS (my additions are in CAPS):

1. Melt the butter (HEAT OLIVE OIL) in a large pot, and cook the onion, celery, carrot, potatoes, and squash 5 minutes, or until lightly browned (THE BROWN BITS THAT STICK TO THE PAN ARE KEY TO THE FLAVOR OF THE SOUP). Pour in enough of the chicken stock to cover vegetables (I SLID MY MOSTLY STILL FROZEN STOCK INTO THE POT AND IT MELTED/THAWED QUICKLY). Bring to a boil. (ADD SQUASH WHEN ITS DONE!) Reduce heat to low, cover pot, and simmer 40 minutes, or until all vegetables are tender.               
2. Transfer the soup to a blender, and blend until smooth (I USED A CUISINART SMARTSTICK AND PUREED IT IN THE POT.  BE CAREFUL!!! IT'S HOT HOT HOT). Return to pot, and mix in any remaining stock to attain desired consistency. Season with salt and pepper.

SOOO YUMMY! 

As with most of my experiments, there always has to be a downside - SOMEthing has to go wrong.  I was HOPING this soup would have some leftovers, but alas it only made it through one meal for the six of us.  Next time - double recipe.

Normally my experiments don't turn out, so I didn't take pictures.  I guess if I'm going to blog about this adventure, I should start taking pictures and posting whether or not it works out.  NEXT TIME!

Going Totally Allergy Friendly

Our house is becoming almost totally milk and wheat free - FINALLY.  Can you say, "CHALLENGING?!?!?!?"  That's an exclamation, not a complaint.  I'm happy to be getting healthier for our family, and also keeping the twins safe.  But WOW.  This is hard.  VERY VERY HARD. 

Out of six of us, we've known that two are allergic to milk, but we recently learned that two more of us are lactose intolerant.  It makes sense for it to GO!  Everything in moderation, though, or I'll go insane (not to mention BROKE buying alternatives).  Elimination has been a slow process.  Just last night I read the calendar wrong and I had to have our oldest at play practice half an hour earlier than I'd planned.  UGH!  Dinner plans ruined.  I had enough prepared for the twins to have their food thrown into containers and eaten on the go, but I had to hit drive-thru for the rest of us.  As my skills grow, and planning gets better, I'm hoping that I will have more on hand to throw together for all of us, not just the twins.  If I learned to do it for two, I can learn to do it for six, right????

 I'm learning.  Always learning.  And sometimes I get tired, frustrated, despondent, and scared.  I once sat in the allergist's office alone with the twins.  My husband tries very hard to get away from work for important doctor appointments, but this one he had to miss.  I remember the doctor saying this wasn't the worst case he'd ever seen, but very close to it.  He told me to keep doing what we were doing, and we'll reevaluate when they're five and take it from there.  The twins weren't yet two, and we'd almost lost Z just a few months earlier.  Tears came to my eyes as I asked, jokingly, but meaning it from the depth of my being, "How do we keep them alive till then?"  He laughed a sympathetic laugh and said, "You're doing great, Mom.  Keep it up."  And then he sent us to a dietitian. 

The dietitian was helpful in determining nutritional goals and proportions, and had some great food suggestions, but she had no clue the scope of the problem.  She recommended a ton of foods and supplements that the twins had never tried before, and we'd just been told we couldn't introduce ANY more new foods until we visited the allergist again in a year.  To use a term I read in Angela's Ashes, "dark clouds" formed in my head.

I hit the Internet hard to learn how to cook.  I looked at recipes, not for their ingredients (the twins couldn't eat most of them), but to see the cooking instructions.  Chicken: how to roast it.  Seriously.  I had no idea you could just throw chicken pieces in a baking pan for an hour.  Sprinkle with salt and pepper, baste with their natural juices at the end, and voila!  I learned Paula Deen's "House Seasoning."  Google it for proportions, but I just now sprinkle a bit of each of the three ingredients: salt, pepper, and garlic powder.  Now I even add onion powder.  (I know from experience that if someone with food allergies read that, "dark clouds" gathered as they read "garlic" or "onions" or even "chicken."  Ignore them and look for the things you or your child CAN have.  It's okay.  I've been there.  I AM there.).

I hate cookbooks.  I don't use the "H" word often, but it's applicable here.  There is not any one cookbook, or just a recipe for that matter, that has everything I need.  Everything requires substitutions, experiments, and new versions to suit our family's needs.  I recently tried again.  I had some time to kill in a bookstore while waiting for a son's event.  I had the twins draped around my ankles and N standing with me, bored out of his head while I flipped through "Gluten-free" and "Dairy-free" cookbooks.  None of them were free of all of the twins' allergens all at once, and (this is my ugliness showing) I was annoyed at how self-assured and perfect these women seemed because they'd figured out how to cook without just one or two allergens.  Why I put myself through that "Dark Cloud" session again, I don't know.  But I picked up my guys and moved on.  Exhausted from looking at books, and feeling guilty for judging their authors.

THANKFULLY, now that I've finally learned to cook several things, feeding the twins really is not hard anymore. But it's boring.  We eat every version of chicken, beef, rice, basic veggies and potatoes imaginable.  My husband likes to say, "Welcome to how the rest of the world eats!"  Who knew so many foods could taste so good on their own!  (I'll be sure to post some of our family favorites).  It just feels like we're eating the same things all the time.  That's all. 

I need to add that I am so very thankful that "Dark Cloud" moments are fewer and farther between these days, but they still happen.  Last night's drive-thru incident, caused dark clouds to gather for a moment, but I'm much better at moving on.  This whole "relearning everything I thought I knew" is hard for me.  It might not be so hard for others who already know how to run a well-oiled household perfectly, but it's hard for ME.  But I'm learning.  And the Lord is so patient with me.  And soon our home will be full of all wonderful and safe foods for all (hopefully...pray for us!)!

Love,
G