For the Love of the Lord and Reading

If asked to pinpoint one thing we thought we were doing well in parenting, ignoring our many shortcomings of course, bedtime routines of reading and praying together would have to be a star on our chart.  There is something special about everyone coming around a story together and then praying to top it off.  The whole house seems happier when we’re spending this time together.  Lots of parents share this routine, so this is nothing new, but the fact that we still read to our big boys was something that took intentionality for us.  I admit, there are some nights when "getting to it" requires a personal pep talk and second wind of energy, but there is not one time that I ever read to my kids that returned void of warm fuzzies and thankfulness for the time well-spent.

 Our joy of reading together actually started before children arrived.  Thanks to the 20 hour drive between our home in South Carolina to my side of the family in Minnesota, and the 6 hours to My Husband’s family in West Virginia, we have always had long stretches of time to kill.  On such trips, the Hubs and I have shared together such titles as Tuesdays with Morrie and Angela’s Ashes.  Before there was www.audible.com there were books on tape or CD, but when we didn’t have a recorded book, we would read to each other.  Wild concept, I know – actually reading to each other.  I admit we would pause while passing through the mountains of Ashville, NC, or Elkhorn Mountain of West Virginia.  The switchbacks, narrow passes, and 18-wheelers make a prime recipe for motion sickness.  But aside from those mountainous passes, our journeys are mostly straight open road and easy reading. 

Reading to the Belly.  Pregnant with our first guy.  I know, it's such a flattering shot, ha ha.

When children came, reading together went from being a road trip activity to a regular routine.  We read to our first son, A, while he was still being knit together in my womb.  We enjoyed the rhythmic poetry of Shel Silverstein’s Where the Sidewalk Ends and A Light in the Attic.  Once A was in the world, we eventually got into a routine of reading a book before naptime and bedtime.  When N came along, we began reading for two in our arms.  Thanks, Dad, for that extra-wide chair you gave us for the nursery!  We would read a book for A and a book for N, plus any “one more!” books they happened to request.  Now that we’re all too big to share the chair, we sit together on the bottom bunk, or I sit in a chair while our now FOUR guys lie together on the floor of the living room for their weekend ritual of indoor camping.

The Hubs reading with the Big Boys, N and A while wearing his "Peter Jackson Glasses," February 2004

Admission of guilt: we strayed from reading to the big boys for a little while.  As they grew and learned how to read for themselves, we unintentionally phased out their story time.  The twins were babies and couldn’t read for themselves, so of course we began the routine for them.  But bedtime rituals were getting long among four children, and we were exhausted.  It seemed like the big boys’ story time was a natural thing to let fall to the wayside.  Over time, though, as the younger twins started to get beyond just board books and into actual stories, like If You Give a Pig a Pancake or a personal favorite, The Monster At the End of This Book (it hypes up the kids, but it’s soooo funny), I’d often see A and N float toward their door, toothbrushes in hand, to listen as I read to their brothers.  Every once in a while, as a special treat, I’d finish up with the twins and read the big boys a short book from their past. 

The Twins, S and Z, and Me.

It wasn’t until last summer, however, when A and I were both reading the Narnia series (me for the third time, and him for the first) that we started reading chapter books together and the routine was given new life.  A was reading slowly, and I needed his book.  (“Needed” is the proper word because when I’m reading a series I get so hooked that I practically go into withdrawal if I can’t keep my fix).  So we decided to read it together.  We were initially taking turns reading the pages, and he’s an excellent reader, but he kept asking me to keep reading to him.  And N kept joining us and asking for more.  It became clear that my boys still needed their story time.  

Still reading with the Big Boys, A and N with the Hubs.

I felt like we had a connection back that I didn’t know we’d lost.  It now spurns conversations about the books as well as subjects beyond the pages.  We laugh with the characters in the books, like when the very valiant Reepicheep takes on Eustace in The Voyage of the Dawn Treader, or we talk about why a particular storyline is so very sad, like in Number the Stars dealing with World War II and the Holocaust.  And we teach about being generous and helpful like the rats in Mrs. Frisby and the Rats of Nimh, or about being brave like Mrs. Frisby herself. 

The bonus to the end of our chapter for the evening is the prayer time we share.  Our nightly prayers began as little prayers for our sweet babies.  We’d recite “Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep,” and then we would ask the Lord to bless their rest through the night.  Over the years, though, as the big boys have grown, and the twins have faced life-threatening food allergies, they have become very real conversations with God.  They often include a quick review of things from the day that were special, and sometimes they include things that didn’t go so well.  If we’ve made a parenting mistake, like accusing the wrong son of leaving his clothes on the floor, or because we were extra irritable at dinner (you know, therapist couch material, ha!), this is usually the time when we fess up, explain ourselves, and, when necessary, apologize.  The boys include requests for people we love, and we give thanks to God for healings and blessings he’s given us.  But for me, my prayer still ends with asking the Lord to bless my guys’ rest, and to draw them close to himself…with the added request that the Father would heal our sons’ allergies.

Bedtime is not the only time we read and pray, but bed time and meal times are when it’s routine.  Because of this routine for both reading and praying, it makes the impromptu times in between become more natural.  They don’t think it’s weird to grab a book and curl up with it or to stop for a second and pray for the ambulance that just passed.  But I think the best thing about this whole reading and praying thing is that we’re doing it together.  Everyone is gathered around the same thing at the same time.  After a day of constant movement, errands, conversations, chores, events, and more, for just a handful of minutes per night we slowdown and connect.  We shut out the world, transporting ourselves somewhere else, and then we return to reality to pray to the Father who makes it all possible.  It is indeed worth it to carve out the time to read and pray with our guys.

**Links to some articles I’ve read recently that reinforce the idea that READING IS WONDERFUL!**
"Raise a Lifelong Reader"

http://www.pbs.org/parents/experts/archive/2012/05/raise-a-lifelong-reader-by-rea.html?utm_source=Facebook&utm_medium=fanpage&utm_campaign=pbs

(The title of the following article has little to do with the content.  It's more about examining why boys don't get into reading as much as girls, and some ideas about how to get that to change.)

"How to Talk to a Little Boy"

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/mobileweb/lisa-bloom/how-to-talk-to-little-boy_b_1473167.html  

 I looked for some articles on praying with children, but didn’t find what I was looking for.  One suggested putting a cloth on the floor and opening a Bible in the middle.  If this floats your boat, go for it.  To me, however, that sounds more complicated than it needs to be.  We just talk to God about our kids.  And, honestly, they love to hear us talk about them.  They love hearing their mom and dad asking God to help with the bully on the playground or their grades in school.  They love hearing their request that they just mentioned leave our lips because we feel it is important enough to ask the Father about it.  And we encourage them to petition the Father to help them with the test at school or the brother that gets on their nerves.  I would just be sure they still hear their parents pray for them.  It models how to pray, and it shows them that we love them enough to pray for them. 

In the end, I did find this one article that I thought was pretty helpful

“Praying with Children”

http://www.ministrymatters.com/all/article/entry/1623/praying-with-children