Chicken is Today's Manna

Tonight’s lesson at our church’s children’s program was about the complaints of the Israelites as they wandered in the desert (Exodus 16).  Hearing their hunger complaints, God provided quail and a food called “manna” for them.  It was more than sufficient for the day, so God said not to hold any over for the next day because He would provide for them again.  Some did not believe the Lord, however, so they hid an extra portion for the next day.  Overnight their leftovers rotted and became infested with worms.  Despite their complaints and lack of faith in God’s provision, God continued to provide for their needs.  He even made the manna last TWO days to accommodate the Sabbath.  The tidy little lesson for the kids: God is faithful, so we shouldn’t complain. Little did I know that God was going to use our sweet Z to drive home that point.

We loaded our family into the car after dinner at church.  As usual, we brought the twins' picnic while the rest of us ate what was served to the congregation.  As I pulled away from the curb, completely randomly, three year-old Z declared: "I'm GREAT.  'know why I great?  I great because I ate chickeeeen, and leeeeeeaves, and applesaauuuuce, and rice milk." 

Let me break this down for you.  They had broiled boneless skinless chicken breasts.  Plain romaine lettuce leaves without dressing.  Natural applesauce.  And plain rice milk (not vanilla flavored). 

Thank you, Lord, for his thankful heart.

Even as I packed their dinner tonight I had a complaining spirit.  I wondered when I would be able to give them something more exciting than this plain, bland menu.  But the truth is they eat healthier than the rest of us in our house.  They’ve never had a preservative other than salt.  They only eat foods from the produce and meat departments.  Truly their menu is the Lord’s manna – it is sufficient for them.

A woman in a Bible study I attended last spring heard some of our food allergy woes, and she said, “Is not life more than food?”  And she pointed me to the Sermon on the Mount.  I’ve read it so many times before, but never with a food allergy lens.  Matthew 6:25 ESV says:

“Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing?”    www.biblegateway.com

I posted this scripture above my kitchen sink to remind me to ditch the anxiety and trust the Lord, yet I still hit our latest snag and I fell back to my grumbling spirit.  We call it a “dark cloud” moment when we come across yet another discouraging thing in the world of food allergies.  Our latest dark cloud was discovering that Z is allergic to cinnamon, and then learning that it shares a food family with avocados, to which I already knew he was allergic.  Had I known about food families ahead of time I may have had an opportunity to spare him the cinnamon reaction, or at least have had a more informed decision about trying it.  So now I have set about familiarizing myself with food families and “common cross-reactivity” before we try anything else…grrrrrrrr.  I feel like I should have known these concepts YEARS ago, yet I have to stumble across “food families” on the internet while searching for “cinnamon allergy.”  It was just a small dark cloud compared to others in the past, but it was a dark cloud nonetheless.   

But there’s another great scripture for my dark cloud days that often pops into my mind:

Philippians 2:14-15 ESV says: Do all things without grumbling or questioning that you may be blameless and innocent, children of God without blemish in the midst of a crooked and twisted generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world holding fast to the word of life, so that in the day of Christ I may be proud that I did not run in vain or labor in vain.

Ouch.

I’ve said so many times that “I just need to vent,” and I do just that.  I vent.  But does it really help?  Often I get more stirred up, more frustrated with my helplessness and more irritated with allergists who can really only TEST and are pretty much worthless in the realm of actually living with allergies or discerning them in the real world. 

Sigh.  See?  There I go again.  It’s a loose trigger. 

But then there’s my sweet Z.  He has the most severe allergies that keep us hopping, yet he gets in my car after yet another meal of more of the same, and he’s "great."  He reminds me that for some, including my twins, tonight's dinner is a banquet. 

Z also reminded me that for today anaphylaxis was not our reality.  Tonight’s chicken was Z’s manna.  And he is thankful, as am I.

Lord,

Thank you that Z was so delighted with his meal that he inspired me to think of you and all that you have done for our family.  Most of all, thank you for today’s manna.  It is sufficient.  Lord, you are sufficient.

Love,

G

Food Allergies: About Our Journey

Eggs, Milk, Peanuts, and Dogs are on the list of things that could possibly go very wrong for our twin boys.  Wheat, oats, and flax also cause problems for one of them.  In April of 2010 we had just left church on a Wednesday night.  Our little guy, Z, started a funny cough as we left, and by the time I drove the two blocks to our home he was struggling to breathe.  He made a hard long grunt to push through an exhale, and his chest caved in as he slowly and desperately pulled through an inhale.  Thinking it was asthma, I started a nebulizer, alerted my husband, and called 911.  I held my 18 month old baby as I watched consciousness slowly slipping away from him.  My husband remembered the epinephrine we had recently been prescribed at the pediatrician’s office.  He jabbed it into our tiny boy’s thigh.  He should have been able to scream or kick, but instead he lay limp in my arms.  Because of the blessing of my husband’s fast thinking and the epinephrine, Z quickly began to breathe better.  Then the hives had enough oxygen to come.  And they did.  That's when we knew for sure that it was an allergic reaction.  In the ambulance a blanket of hives covered his body.  His face swelled and he itched all over.  At the hospital his 18 month old body, barely 20 pounds, received an adult dose of Benadryl, epinephrine, and steroids.   He spent the night in the pediatric ICU as much to monitor the effects of drugs as the persistent reaction that wanted to keep coming.  Thankfully, the next day he came home happy and healthy again.  It was surreal to realize we almost lost him the night before.

Z and S January 2010. Two months before the big scary reaction we tried eggs and they both developed hives.  Z, above, developed a certain kind of hives that look like a sunburn. S, below, had standard bumpy hives and his right eye swelled shut.  These were taken at the beginning of the reaction, so it's not at it's full height yet.  We were off to the pediatrician pretty quickly. 

We have some theories but will never know for sure what Z ate that night at church. We do know what set the stage for it, though.  We were still very new at the whole food allergy journey. I was ignorant about how many prepared foods have hidden and unimaginable ingredients. More than five hours before church that night I gave Z and S a taste of fast food fries. I did not even consider the idea that there could be milk and wheat in fries. The doctors said that he must have eaten something at church for such a sudden and severe reaction, but that the fries probably helped get the ball rolling for the reaction to come.   Oh. The. Guilt.

Our church family was awesome, loving, and quick to respond. They held a meeting where they asked me to come and describe the warning signs of a reaction and demonstrate how to administer epinephrine.  I called it the“How Not to Kill Z and S Meeting."  We never blamed the church for what happened, especially after my own monumental mistake earlier that day.  They knew not to feed the twins, but none of us knew how many pitfalls there were in caring for toddlers with unknown allergies.  He could have grabbed another child's cup or bottle, or even found a stray crumb on the floor without anyone seeing him.  Who knows.  

I blame Allergies for what happens to my boys.
After the big church reaction I sat in an allergist’s office as he said, “They should outgrow most of these allergies by age 5,” and I replied jokingly, but with a lump in my throat:

“How do I keep them alive until then?” 

His sobering answer: “Work with a dietitian to make sure you have all of the major food groups covered as well as possible.  If you know of enough safe foods to keep them healthy, don’t introduce any new foods until we see you again next year.”  It was a punch to the gut.  We had fewer than 20 foods to work with, and just a few seasonings.  Thankfully, though, every food group was represented. 
 

S in 2010.  Mystery reaction.  This is after Benadryl, so his eyes were open again and looking better.

We have come a long way since then, and their fourth birthday is just a month away!  I’ve learned to cook their limited food list in a small variety of ways.  Homemade chicken stock, Rice Chex chicken nuggets, and my grandma’s pot roast are among some of our favorite recipes.  And they can enjoy several fruits and vegetables.  Rice and potatoes are our main and constant carbohydrates (no wheat or oats).  AND we’ve been able to try some new foods and expand their menu a little at a time. 

Once food was resolved, the social life needed addressing.  For a long time after that big reaction, I became a hermit with our guys.  Fighting an unseen enemy, we are no longer as free as we used to be.  Thankfully the Lord has blessed us with many wonderful people with problem-solving hearts. Because of them we have been able to find many safe environments for our guys. THANK YOU to all of our friends and family who take this seriously, watch and educate your own children, help me watch ours, and make crazy accommodations all so Z and S can live as normally as possible. YOU ARE AMAZING!  

(Our journey is not over.  This is Z Christmas 2011. We left gift opening early when he and S started to react to something. Thankfully this reaction and other recent reactions have all been mild and resolved with just Benadryl. That's a big sign to us that their allergies are lessening. Theories for this one: dog or peanuts.)

 In truth, though, not everyone wants to make accommodations for us.  One person told me that PB was so important in their children's lives that they would be seriously upset if their school banned it.  I graciously changed the subject before my emotions got the best of me.  When my poor unsuspecting husband came home from work he became my sounding board for my pent-up snarky attitude,  “All right, then!  Because there are people like THAT out there, we will home school our boys.  It’s financially next to impossible, and I looked forward to working one day.  But, SURE, I will teach EVERY subject to just my OWN children in my DINING ROOM.  I will do that.  So THEIR kids can eat peanut butter at school.”  And I cried.  Hard.   

 I’m not proud of my attitude, and the Lord definitely dealt with me over it.  The lesson learned was that: 1. Not everyone will want to help us accommodate our children.  It's a painful truth, but there you go.  And 2.  If the Lord doesn’t heal them, homeschooling would indeed be the very best way to safely educate our little men.  Not everyone can home school, so I still think schools and parents need to make accommodations.  For us, though, with sacrifices, we CAN do it.  When it became clear last spring that one of our older boys also would benefit from coming home, my heart was already primed and ready for the task.   

 I’m thankful that the Lord continues to work with us as we figure out how to balance it all.  We still live with this reality every day, but God gives us daily peace that we're doing the best we can.  One day I hope I can write a post with the title: Z and S are HEALED!!!  For today, though, I'm thankful for the journey. 

Right now our guys are happy and healthy little men!

As I wrote this Z and S were under my elbows, talking to me about their day, and laughing as they played together.  What a gift!  (and a hindrance, so forgive my grammar and other issues, ha!)  I am so thankful for the miracle of all four of our children and for a kind and loving God who carries us through every step of this journey!  

Today's post was inspired by the following link to another mom's story of her scary day that began so simply:

http://www.allergymoms.com/classroom.pdf 

Love,

G

Allergy Friendly Valentine's Day Lollipops

Friends!  Here's an update on the lollipops.  They turned out so CUTE! The recipe for making them is HERE-Corn-free Lollipops .  This time I tried 100% frozen grape juice concentrate for flavoring.  I used about 1.5 Tblsps of thawed concentrate and it wasn't enough.  They still tasted good, but not like grapes.  So I will try 3Tbsps next time.   

I am sooooo excited that I found HEART SHAPED MEASURING SPOONS to use as molds.  I found them in the Target dollar spot, so if you head out there now, you might just find some.  I also have a mini-muffin pan with hearts in case this hadn't worked.  The muffin pan is not ideal because you can't control the distance between each mold, but I think it might have worked as an alternative.

I ran out of lollipop sticks, so I used the smaller measuring spoon to make small hard candies instead of lollipops. 

Note: be sure to be patient and wait for the lollipops to really reach hard candy temps.  I didn't let mine go long enough so they still made good lollipops, but they became floppy and sticky as we ate them.

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!

Corn-Free Allergen-Friendly Lollipops

As a mother, I never imagined myself saying this: I want my kids to have candy. 

The twins' birthday is THE a candy-loving holiday- Halloween!  For their first two years, their birthday party has been a fun allergen-free family celebration with goodie bags full of inedible Halloween favors, but I have always wanted my boys to have candy.  I searched and searched the Internet for a recipe that was safe for my guys.  I initially thought about doing rock candy - you know, the science experiment in growing sugar crystals.  But to do enough for a party would require a table full of mason jars for days while growing crystals with uncertain results.  Ugh.

So I looked for other hard candies, but I kept finding recipes with corn starch, and my guys are allergic to corn (among a million other things).  Whether the recipe called for cornstarch itself or powdered sugar, which contains cornstarch, every recipe had SOMEthing my guys couldn't have. UNTIL I saw a recipe for making your own powdered sugar using a coffee grinder and potato starch!  I suddenly had renewed hope!

Powdered Sugar with Potato Starch (Note: this link also has other GREAT tips about corn-free cooking!)  In case the link doesn't work, here's the recipe:

1 Tbsp Potato Starch (I don't know if tapioca starch would work, but would be worth an experiment if someone has a potato allergy)
1 cup Sugar
Grind in coffee grinder until no longer grainy.  So easy!

WHERE TO BUY THIS STUFF:  I buy my rice flours, potato starch, and tapioca starch at local health food stores, but I just discovered the very same brands for half the price on Amazon! Gotta' love that site. Some have had luck on Ebay, but I'm just not into it, espeicially with food products).

So now to make some lollipops.  

After A YEAR of searching for a good recipe, I finally found this one:

 Easy Homemade Lollipop Recipe:

     2 cups sugar

     2/3 cup water

      1/8 teaspoon Cream of Tartar

      Any desired flavoring (I used organic orange and lemon extracts, but I've since learned (with dark clouds gathering in my head) that many extracts often use alcohol derived from corn, which is why they can claim to be "gluten free."  UGH! This may explain some eczema flares. But THANKFULLY! "The Chew" on ABC showed a lollipop recipe using a spoonful of frozen 100% juice concentrate (thawed) for flavoring.  I've been to a couple of stores looking for a truly 100% juice that doesn't say "Natural Flavors" in the ingredient list, and they DO exist. I finally found a grape juice and a lemonade that we can use. I have not tried them yet, but will update when I have)

     Appropriate vegetable coloring (I didn't use any coloring, and the juice idea has natural color with the juice)

 INSTRUCTIONS:

Combine sugar and Cream of Tartar with the 2/3 cup water.

 Stir until sugar is dissolved.

Boil until a temp of 290 F. is reached or until a drop of mixture will become hard when dropped into cold water. Remove from heat.

Add flavoring and coloring. Pour into greased pans or molds.

When partly cooled insert wooden sticks. (be sure to spin the sticks once they're in place to thoroughly surround them with lollipop syrup and secure them in the lollipop!) Chill in the fridge until they are completely cooled and hard.  Store in an airtight container.

PROBLEM: I didn't own any molds, a candy thermometer, or sticks. 
SOLUTION: I posted my dilemma on Facebook and my friends came through!

STICKS: A friend suggested I buy my lollipop sticks and thermometer at Michaels, similar to these Lollipop Sticks , Candy Thermometer. 

MOLDS: My friends had three ideas for molds:

1. BUY A MOLD:  Our Michaels didn't have molds for HARD candy (READ LABELS!  They had LOTS for soft candy that were quite deceptive.  This is how I found out the hard way that not all lollipop molds are created equal.  Hard candy lollipop molds are a hard white plastic and will say they are meant for hard candy.  I did a search for "hard candy molds" and bought mine from a small site I'd never heard of.  Thankfully it worked out GREAT!  And I have cute dinosaur molds.
RESULTS: I love our dinosaur molds, but the lollipops turned out VERY BIG and thick that the kids can't finish all at once!  So my recommendation would be to find smaller molds for kiddos.

2.  NO MOLD: to make wonky lollipops: Spray a cookie sheet with cooking spray and carefully spoon the hot lollipop syrup onto the sticks  ( (I also sprinkled powdered sugar, but it clumped up on the oil, so ignore it in the picture below.  Also, for oil cooking spray, I've found an olive oil cooking spray that has a hint of soy that works for us, but if you have a soy allergy, Pampered Chef at one time sold a pump spray bottle that lets you put your own oil inside, pump in air pressure, and spray.  Awesome!). 
RESULTS: When I did it this way, they turned out so thin that the lolli would fall off the pop almost as soon as the child took one lick.  These are great with adults, but a bit awkward with kids.

 3.  MAKE A MOLD: Use a cookie sheet with sides (jelly roll pan), fill it with powdered sugar, use something to press shapes firmly into the sugar (I used a cap from a juice bottle, washed, of course), align your sticks into the shapes, and pour in the lollipop syrup. 




RESULTS: I have to say, in the end, this was my favorite method.  Kind of messy, but in the end there was NO oil, and the added layer of powdered sugar added an element of froofroo to the pops.  YUM!




Enjoy!

Going Totally Allergy Friendly

Our house is becoming almost totally milk and wheat free - FINALLY.  Can you say, "CHALLENGING?!?!?!?"  That's an exclamation, not a complaint.  I'm happy to be getting healthier for our family, and also keeping the twins safe.  But WOW.  This is hard.  VERY VERY HARD. 

Out of six of us, we've known that two are allergic to milk, but we recently learned that two more of us are lactose intolerant.  It makes sense for it to GO!  Everything in moderation, though, or I'll go insane (not to mention BROKE buying alternatives).  Elimination has been a slow process.  Just last night I read the calendar wrong and I had to have our oldest at play practice half an hour earlier than I'd planned.  UGH!  Dinner plans ruined.  I had enough prepared for the twins to have their food thrown into containers and eaten on the go, but I had to hit drive-thru for the rest of us.  As my skills grow, and planning gets better, I'm hoping that I will have more on hand to throw together for all of us, not just the twins.  If I learned to do it for two, I can learn to do it for six, right????

 I'm learning.  Always learning.  And sometimes I get tired, frustrated, despondent, and scared.  I once sat in the allergist's office alone with the twins.  My husband tries very hard to get away from work for important doctor appointments, but this one he had to miss.  I remember the doctor saying this wasn't the worst case he'd ever seen, but very close to it.  He told me to keep doing what we were doing, and we'll reevaluate when they're five and take it from there.  The twins weren't yet two, and we'd almost lost Z just a few months earlier.  Tears came to my eyes as I asked, jokingly, but meaning it from the depth of my being, "How do we keep them alive till then?"  He laughed a sympathetic laugh and said, "You're doing great, Mom.  Keep it up."  And then he sent us to a dietitian. 

The dietitian was helpful in determining nutritional goals and proportions, and had some great food suggestions, but she had no clue the scope of the problem.  She recommended a ton of foods and supplements that the twins had never tried before, and we'd just been told we couldn't introduce ANY more new foods until we visited the allergist again in a year.  To use a term I read in Angela's Ashes, "dark clouds" formed in my head.

I hit the Internet hard to learn how to cook.  I looked at recipes, not for their ingredients (the twins couldn't eat most of them), but to see the cooking instructions.  Chicken: how to roast it.  Seriously.  I had no idea you could just throw chicken pieces in a baking pan for an hour.  Sprinkle with salt and pepper, baste with their natural juices at the end, and voila!  I learned Paula Deen's "House Seasoning."  Google it for proportions, but I just now sprinkle a bit of each of the three ingredients: salt, pepper, and garlic powder.  Now I even add onion powder.  (I know from experience that if someone with food allergies read that, "dark clouds" gathered as they read "garlic" or "onions" or even "chicken."  Ignore them and look for the things you or your child CAN have.  It's okay.  I've been there.  I AM there.).

I hate cookbooks.  I don't use the "H" word often, but it's applicable here.  There is not any one cookbook, or just a recipe for that matter, that has everything I need.  Everything requires substitutions, experiments, and new versions to suit our family's needs.  I recently tried again.  I had some time to kill in a bookstore while waiting for a son's event.  I had the twins draped around my ankles and N standing with me, bored out of his head while I flipped through "Gluten-free" and "Dairy-free" cookbooks.  None of them were free of all of the twins' allergens all at once, and (this is my ugliness showing) I was annoyed at how self-assured and perfect these women seemed because they'd figured out how to cook without just one or two allergens.  Why I put myself through that "Dark Cloud" session again, I don't know.  But I picked up my guys and moved on.  Exhausted from looking at books, and feeling guilty for judging their authors.

THANKFULLY, now that I've finally learned to cook several things, feeding the twins really is not hard anymore. But it's boring.  We eat every version of chicken, beef, rice, basic veggies and potatoes imaginable.  My husband likes to say, "Welcome to how the rest of the world eats!"  Who knew so many foods could taste so good on their own!  (I'll be sure to post some of our family favorites).  It just feels like we're eating the same things all the time.  That's all. 

I need to add that I am so very thankful that "Dark Cloud" moments are fewer and farther between these days, but they still happen.  Last night's drive-thru incident, caused dark clouds to gather for a moment, but I'm much better at moving on.  This whole "relearning everything I thought I knew" is hard for me.  It might not be so hard for others who already know how to run a well-oiled household perfectly, but it's hard for ME.  But I'm learning.  And the Lord is so patient with me.  And soon our home will be full of all wonderful and safe foods for all (hopefully...pray for us!)!

Love,
G

Early Survival - How Do I Feed My Babies????

In the beginning, the biggest challenge was this: I didn't really know how to cook before the twins came along. I knew the basics, like opening a can, boiling noodles, and assembling a casserole of some kind. And don't forget the cheese. Lots and lots of it. I never had to read a label or think too hard. Just open, heat, and serve. As I once heard Paula Deen say on a tv interview, "I didn't get this way by lookin' at the pictures!"  We've come a long way, Baby! 

My Grandma's stew saved my twins' lives. It's the only thing I knew how to make that had a full recipe without any substitutions.  And in talking with a friend who makes her own baby food for her sons who also have allergies, I learned about the Cuisinart SmartStick.  Meant for smoothies and the like, it makes a GREAT puree tool for in-the-pot puree.

POT ROAST/STEW RECIPE:
4 potatoes peeled and diced into 1 inch chunks
2-3 carrots cut into coins
Slab O' Meat: 1-3 lbs of any red meat more than an inch thick or stew meat.  Be brave!  Buy it and try it! (stew meat was too chewy for my guys to handle or to puree well when they were little).
Salt, pepper, garlic powder, onion powder shaken to taste over the meat (read labels to make sure there aren't any allergy warnings or added ingredients).
2 celery stocks cut into 1/4" wide U's (what is that, sliced?)
1 onion chopped
1 28oz can diced tomatoes (read the label for any extra ingredients or allergy warnings!  I've picked up many o'can with milk and wheat warnings.  UGH!)
1/2-1cup of water.

Put everything in the slow cooker in the order listed.  Then cook on LOW for 6-8 hours, or on high for 3-4 hours, depending on how thick the meat is.  I recommend LOW.  It's done when it comes apart easily with a fork.  I pureed it right in my slow cooker.  I was very careful not to scratch it!!!  It could also be done in a blender if you wait for it to cool and then do it in batches. 

Serve alone, or over rice.

STORAGE: Refrigerator: Can be kept in the fridge for up to 3 days (I write the date in sharpie on the foil or plastic wrap covering the dish). Freezer: For babies I would put it into ice cube trays and cover the trays with foil, put the date and "Stew" on the foil, and freeze.  If I needed the trays again, I'd dump the cubes into a freezer Ziploc bag and label the bag.

REHEATING FROZEN CUBES: To reheat, I'd microwave it in 30 second increments, stirring carefully to make sure the heat gets evenly distributed.  BE CAREFUL!  Don't overheat it for those babies, and mix it well so there aren't any hot spots!!

TRICKS: 4 fresh tomatoes work just as great as canned, especially from the summer farmer's market, but add more salt to compensate.  You can add frozen veggies to the top if you don't have fresh ones to add to the bottom (carrots, peas, and green beans work best).  And you can do the meat without the extra veggies or anything.  Just top the meat with seasonings, tomatoes and water, and it will still turn out well, just with less flavor, or omit the tomatoes and baste with olive oil). 

Enjoy!

Love,
G

Learning New Tricks

My Facebook post the other day was:

We made magic tonight. I mean, waffles. We made waffles and bacon tonight. Everyone ate the same adapted allergy-friendly recipe, and the same bacon that had no added "natural flavors." I can't tell you how nice it is that we are having more and more nights like this, when we all eat the same meal together because I'm finally learning how to cook allergy-foods in a way that all of us enjoy them! This is seriously answered prayer. God is so good.

As babies and early toddlers Z and S (our young twin sons) enjoyed their meals in high chairs.  They often ate their "safe" meals as I was cooking "a regular" meal for the rest of us (Me, my husband, A, and N -our first two sons).  I would make the twins' food in a big batch and reheat it.  But I didn't like this routine. They were separate from the family table.  Yes, it was easier to keep them safe this way, and as we learned how to keep them alive it was a necessary evil.  Our ultimate goal, however, was to get them to the family table.  This means no cheese, no butter, no bread, no eggs, and more. 

Back in October 2011, before their third birthday, I am happy to report that they have joined the family table!  Above is a picture of Z and S helping me take down their high chairs *tear*.  Such a milestone!! 

We're not fully allergen-free around here, but we're getting closer.  And as a result our home is getting healthier!!!